Bitching About How Hard My Life Is(n't)

My lovely readers, nothing awful happened to me that day almost a month ago. I was overreacting, as per usual. I'm a very uppity person, really.

Here's the thing: I've begun putting a lot of pressure on myself to be the kind of person I THINK someone else wants me to be. The stupid thing is, this person and I aren't even really friends. I don't have his phone number, we've only hung out outside of class once, and...well, you get the picture. I have this overwhelming feeling that I'm not good enough.

I got a lot of that in high school. But in high school, the only reason I wanted to be good enough was to please my parents. I always felt like I was letting them down because I wasn't the sports kid - they desperately wanted a jock child. I see it in their eyes every time one of my cousins talks about his or her successes on the soccer or basketball or volleyball or football team. (Did I mention that the rest of my extended family is extraordinarily athletically gifted?)

Instead of that, I though I'd be the nerdy one: straight A's, high standardized test scores, thespian, Speech and Debate champion, involved in EVERYTHING. A general overachiever. Then my sporty cousins got full ride scholarships, higher test scores, and were elected presidents of their classes. I don't resent them at all. I'm very proud of them and I love them to death. I just feel a bit inadequate next to them.

I don't want to have to deal with that in college. I don't need to feel like I'm doing something wrong by being myself.

So, dear readers, that confidence I pretend like I have in myself? Kind of nonexistent. But I'm pretty convincing, no? 

College with Senioritis

The unfortunate thing about graduating high school is that senioritis doesn't go away. Here I am, in college for over 3 months now, and I still struggle daily with the plague that is known as senioritis.

That is my only excuse for not blogging. I'm just lazy. I haven't been busy, I don't "not have time" for it, I'm just downright, 100% lazy. I credit this to college not being challenging enough.

My high school prepared me very well for college. Unfortunately, they prepared me for a college that has more rigorous academics than Kent State. Now, when everyone asks me how college is, I unfortunately have to report that it's "too easy" and that I "have way to much free time on my hands."

Most people would jump for joy to have this sort of free time. For me, it's just a reminder of how anti-social I am. Have you noticed how often I'm on Tumblr nowadays? Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with my friends and meeting new people. It's just very difficult to make time to be with people when they live a good half hour away from you.

Normally, this is the part of the blog post where I give you unsolicited advice on how to deal with the issue that I have brought up. When I figure out how to deal with laziness myself, I'll let you know. Pinky promise.

Don't Waste Your Potential

Is there anything more awkward than sitting next to a person that you love to death but you're thinking, "My god, you are making the worst mistake of your life"? Yeah, that happened today. Actually, it happened three years ago, too, with the same person.

I hate it when I see people with limitless potential throw it all away for what they think is "easy." It can be something as little as refusing to join a club because you're "too busy." (Trust me, that excuse never worked where I'm concerned. I was in every club but one at my school.) If you're good at something and you like doing it, you MAKE time for it. That's life. You make time for the things that matter to you.

On a bigger scale, deciding what college you go to shouldn't be about how "easy" it will be. It should be about where you'll get the best education. Okay, okay. Rich white girl doesn't know anything about the challenges that people face when it comes to paying for said education. Actually, I sort of do.

Kent costs an average of $16,000 a year. Minus money for room and board, minus money from Honors College scholarships, minus money from Communications Factory scholarship, minus money from Domb-Fielder Scholarship. What do you get? $3,000 left. THAT'S how much my college costs. So you can go to a good university if you work for it. It can happen.

Don't limit yourself. You can be good enough. You just have to work your butt off and hope it will be worth it in the end. I'll let you know if it pays off, don't worry.

Summer Sun, Something's Begun

Actually, nothing's begun. Sadly. But hey, once summer's over, I'll be headed to college where I can be anyone I want to be. It's a fresh start. And college guys are a lot more open-minded than high school guys, right? Right? RIGHT? Damn.

A girl can dream.

But you know what I like about college already? How connected everyone is. Probably the best thing I've done since I found out I was headed to Kent State in the fall was joining the Kent 2015 page on Facebook. I have been friended by many of my future classmates and have even gotten a few new followers on Twitter.

I know, I know. Chances are, we might never meet in real life. Kent's a big place. But that doesn't change the fact that we are connected. If not by our courses or our majors or our routes to classes on campus, we're at least connected through the university. We all bleed blue and gold.

I'm a Golden Flash. I may not have been too proud of it before, but I swear, I'm going to be fiercely loyal to this university. And we all know what happens when I'm fiercely loyal to something.


Look out Kent, here I come.

Money, Money, Money...MONEY!

I am at a loss for words. Really, I am. My father just came into my room and had an hour-long conversation with me about why I shouldn't go to the college I want. He never actually said it, but he hinted that I would be stupid if I started my life with 80,000 dollars of debt.

Yeah, yeah, I know...it does sound kind of stupidto have that much debt, doesn't it. You know what, though? Money isn't everything. You're probably thinking, "How would you know? You're only 17!" Yes, that's true. But honestly, if I was living homeless while doing what made me happy, I don't think it'd matter to me. As long as I'm happy and I'm not a terrible person, why does it matter how much debt I'm in or how much money I make at my job?

To quote Piggy Bank by Never Shout Never, "So give to the poor and pray for the rich, 'cause you never know when your heart's gonna quit. If you're working for a paycheck, you better cash in, 'cause life's to short to never have lived." SO. TRUE. Life's too short to never have lived.

I want to live. I want to make my own decisions, make my own mistakes, make my own life. I will do it, no matter what kind of debt I'm in. The lesson is, kiddies, that parents don't always know what's best for you, they only know what was best for them when they were your age.

FREE TUITION FOR ALL!

Gahh, it’s been forever! Okay, so two days, but I tried my hardest to get on to blog. There was just so much going on with the Student Congress tournament, I had no time. I also had no time for scholarship applications, which my mother was not pleased to hear.

Do you know what I don’t understand? The school I want to go to is a state university and it’s going to cost me $22,000 to go there. WHY?!?! I’ve gone to private school all my life, so I’m used to (or should I say, my parents are used to) paying tuition, but why is this so expensive? On top of that, the school is offering me significantly less money than any other public school I applied to.

I think that instead of everyone trying to get universal healthcare, we should all get universal education. Seriously. Our country would be so much more efficient and intelligent if everybody had the ability to go to college and learn a good trade. It would be more “equal opportunity.” Besides, if you're going to label yourself a public or state institution, you should be free. Just sayin'.

For me, I have to come up with $21,000 in the next – oh, what is it – five months so I can go to college next year. HELP!

Well, I had to do it sometime...

Hey everyone! I'd like to start off with an apology. From what I have seen on this site so far, most people are blogging about how to cook, how to follow/understand some overly-complicated piece of information, or how to raise a child. I'm not going to do any of that. I am simply going to tell you about things that I observe on a day-to-day basis as a high school teenager. I hope that's alright by you. It is? Good.

I guess I have some explaining to do. Why am I blogging in the first place? Well, last Thursday (I think) I visited BGSU. I'm in that awkward place right now where my mother is pushing me to look at colleges and repremanding me because I didn't visit them while actual classes were in session. Whoops. Anyways, while visiting the college, I was able to meet with one of the professors in their school of journalism (because most of the time, PR is thrown in a journalism program). The importance of internships already thrust upon us, my mother and I asked what percentage of the students had secured internships. The professor went on and on about various students and what they were doing that summer, but also mentioned one girl who was not given an internship because she had no blogging experience. So you see, I'm pretty much blogging out of sheer terror that I will not get an internship in the future. I also think it's been pretty fun so far, so that's a plus.

If you're still reading this, God bless you. I just needed to get all that out there. I hope that in the near future I can blog something witty that people will enjoy. Suggestions? Email me!

Until next time, please enjoy the video that I have been laughing over for the past couple of days: